When a relationship ends, separating couples may need help resolving arrangements for children or finances. Understanding how mediation and court differ in cost, speed and outcomes can save money, time and stress.
Two very different routes
Family mediation is voluntary and confidential. An independent mediator helps you and your ex-partner agree arrangements for children, property or money without imposing a decision.
In court proceedings, a judge considers the evidence and, if you cannot agree, makes a legally binding decision, taking the outcome out of your hands.
The required first step
Before applying to court for most child or financial orders, you must usually attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM).
Mediation is not compulsory. At the MIAM, a mediator explains non-court options, assesses suitability and helps you decide whether to proceed.
Exemptions include domestic abuse, genuine urgency, child protection involvement or an agreement that only needs approval.
Cost
Current court fees include £270 for a child arrangements, specific issue or prohibited steps order, £321 for a financial order other than by consent, £62 for a financial consent order, and £628 for a separate divorce or dissolution application. Depending on your income and capital resources, you may not have to pay.
Application fees are usually only a small part of the cost. Legal representation, expert reports and several hearings can result in each person paying thousands of pounds.
Mediation is generally quicker and cheaper, although fees vary. Getting legal advice can clarify the available finances and help you approach negotiations confidently.
The Family Mediation Voucher Scheme may provide up to £500 per family for mediation involving children. It is not means-tested and excludes the MIAM. Legal aid may cover the MIAM and mediation for eligible people; court representation is funded only in limited cases, mainly involving domestic abuse or risk to a child.
Speed
Court is slower because hearing dates are limited. GOV.UK advises that a court order usually takes around ten months, with complex disputes taking longer.
Mediation can often be completed within weeks or a few months, depending on both people’s willingness to engage.
Control and outcomes
In mediation, you and your ex-partner shape the outcome, but the agreement is not automatically binding. A financial agreement is usually made enforceable through a court-approved consent order, a straightforward and relatively low-cost step.
A court order is immediately binding and enforceable, with a child’s welfare paramount. However, a judge controls the outcome. Jointly reached agreements are often better understood and followed, especially by co-parents.
When court is the right route
Mediation is not suitable for everyone. Court may be necessary where there is domestic abuse, risk to a child, urgency, unwillingness to engage or concerns about financial disclosure.
Since April 2024, the family court may consider an unreasonable refusal to explore non-court options when deciding costs.
Mediation requires both parties’ agreement and the mediator’s approval. It may not succeed but is worth considering where resolution is realistic.
Where to go from here
The best route depends on the dispute, communication and safety concerns. Mediation is often quicker, cheaper and less confrontational, but court may be necessary.
We can advise on the right route and help with a MIAM, voucher or court application. Our initial fixed-fee appointment costs £120 plus VAT and lasts around 60–90 minutes, allowing you to discuss the best option with a solicitor.
Yashin Masoliver, Head of Family –
Berry & Lamberts Solicitors
